Nobody. At least nobody you'll give a second thought to because this year's Academy Awards were probably one of the most boring and forgettable I've seen in my tradition of watching the event. And the ratings sucked. I believe there are three reasons why:
1. Jon Stewart. I have to confess that I'm not one of those hip youth who think Jon Stewart is "like, so cool, and like, I totally get my news from him because he's so funny and smart!" Call me an old fart but give me my elderly white men on network television (or my gay hottie Anderson Cooper on CNN). Give me Babwa. Even give me Regis and Kelly. But Jon Stewart...he just doesn't do it for me. Eh. And when he utilizes satire on The Daily Show that's just dandy. But don't host my Oscars and present the same thing, albeit remixed, for a completely different audience. The Oscars are about spectacle and excess. Feeding the narcissism of the Hollywood elite blindly and uncritically. That's why we have people like Billy Crystal, Steve Martin, Whoopi Goldberg--I would even take Robin Williams--to host the event. Entertain me with a performance and not a cynical stand up routine.
2. Too predictable. Power of elimination and the way most of the winners swept the rest of the Awards season makes for a snooze fest. Did anyone really think Daniel Day Lewis wasn't going to win Best Actor for There Will Be Blood? Besides Johnny Depp lovers (he will get his day in the Oscar glow, I promise people. Just not when he's an effeminate pirate or singing serial killer)
3. Who are those people again? As my roommate frequently prefaces certain statements in our household, "I'm not xenophobic but..." I love the Foreigners. I watch subtitled films. I bow down to Jean Luc Godard. But doesn't it just seem a tad odd that all of the acting awards went to people from outside of this country? Remember the last memorable time something like this happened with Roberto Benigni? Remember his exuberance as he balanced on chairs finally coming to the podium to receive his Best Actor nod? Remember how we never heard from again? Marion Cotillard...I hope I'm not talking to you now.
Ultimately the 80th Anniversary of the Academy Awards suckage has everything to do with Miley Cyrus. No really, I'm convinced. That creepy Disney product of a child star who will end up with multiple personalities in t-minus 10 years, either from switching to Hannah Montana blonde hair too much or hearing her dad singing Achy Breaky Heart...toss up. Why was she there again anyway?
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